Archive for the Heartache Category

I never quite know how to feel
Whether to dig up the bones
Or leave them alone
Do I trust the romance enough
That you knew I was fertile ground
From the beginning
When ploughed
And got the dirt under your nails
Dead roots
Long gone, leafy love
That once was
And the crawling, crawling centipede
Over the unseeing eyesocket
Couldn’t know
The restless beneath


I’m not sold.  This Grand Scheme.  This Plan.  I question destiny.  I question reality.  Because I’m not who I said I was.  I’m not who I claim to be.  You entrusted me with your vote.  I misled you into believing.  I was aware.  I knew the consequences of my actions.  I thought I could pull it off.  I thought I could disguise.  I never saw it as a lie.  Only that which I thought I should be; the person you wanted me to be.  Could I blame you for the encouragement?  The judgement?  Had you not wanted it for me, could I have gotten this far without wearing this identity?  I question my place.  I question your loyalty.  Whatever will become of me?

He Hurts Me

He hurts me
takes his clean blade
with a clean cut
lets me bleed it out

I’m giddy for his time
I’m giddy all the time

He hurts me
in the memory
a pinch of salt
and a stinging slap
my reality fades out

I’m fighting a losing battle
I’m losing the battle to fight


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