Once small, her voice weak
she struggled to find the words to speak
to say no. no. no.
because life inevitably gives
us moments in the score
where the lyrics are a-jumble
and the protagonist stumbles
through the conflict, the character-making scene
like then, when there came a familiar face
of a man with a vile plan; a secret plan
this I’m sure, he’d thought it before
to make her laugh, just enough
so that he could take a hand
and make it wrong.
An image, deliberately deceived
of a savage and untamed thing
and indeed, at times emotions are wild
and uncaged, but the intention
is controlled and well-played
in truth, she knows exactly how to wield
the power of her wand
to get exactly what she wants
because foolishly she believes
that her worth is a measure
of the pleasure she receives.
I am awake, but I disassociate.
I read something, somewhere, once –
that it’s a common symptom of the BPD
an affliction that just comes upon me
to act without thought or intent,
and replay the movie later in my head
– it’s a crime scene, waiting to be undressed
to piece it all together and make sense of the mess.
