The Winter chills the morning
Fat-bellied clouds, dark with mood
On streams carried from the sea
Threaten with a low rumble
As a hungry, impatient storm
Expands with heavy fury
And unexpectedly, before unleashing
Parts in different directions
As if bickering friends
Agreeing to Disagree.
It begins with Love, something felt
A rush of warmth
Afternoon… bitumen
A classroom exercise and[!]
We’re paired to dance
[Here Comes Your Chance, Girl]
Summon the Cool, pretend to chew
Chewing gum, casual
Punctured by a giggle
Oh so nervous: a darling demonstration
Young, heart-pumping, bright eyes
Clearly-
you’ve no idea!
Our Hands linked, clumsy feet
[perfection, really]
My direct gaze
[Dare not look away!] …savouring
This boyish boy, this spunky spunk
With well-know initials
in the margins of my workbook
And blue pen on my palm
A childish act; deliberate
As if it could manifest
– shoot out from the hands into existence.
I stand straight; straight and proud
Thankful for this time, my chance
Over the other pretty girls
with braided hair and lunchbox sweets
[low ponytail, my golden apple]
The boy stands, moves,
Moves as I do [or tries to]
This dancing girl
Actioning the Feet, Playing Cool,
all while Making Note
The Mind Camera – click, click, click
and memory preserved
locked, wound-tight
for the unravelling later, when
The Writer emerges to fan the fiction
Alone in my Room
There, I summoned You
My fantastical creation
The narration of events
[not quite] rightly so
The promise of a kiss
I replay, my theatre
Lips to hand, soft, pretending
It happened [!]
With the same conviction
looking for the Clover
in a green blanket of possibilities
[one I knew didn’t exist]
[but looked for nonetheless]
So that it might grant me
Just one wish –
Might these Day Dreams
be as Night Dreams
and exist in the waking morning
the Desired Events [obsessively nurtured]
Played out beautifully, as rehearsed
Over and Over and Over
You knew, [of course you did]
[or at least, you do now]
that you shared
a name with the King
The King of Horror.
Musing-
Perhaps that influence, Now
This joy in fright
Travels down the spine
The scare – such a delight!
And skipping life’s pages
Present-
A bookshelf
and browsing book jackets
[my proud collection]
Here!:
The name reminds me
Back then,
Back when-
the girl was quick to blush
You were the first boy
…the First Crush.
The Pleasant
Alert Self-Protection is of great importance | Consciously seeking enrichment through expanded horizons | Self-development is unthinkable without loving attention | An agreeable life perceived only through vigorous self-assertion | Powers focussed on purposeful improvement of the given situation | Constantly striving for inner balance with deliberate self-determination.
The Unpleasant
Anxiety ensues with a frightening lack of power | Helpless in the face of continued lack of enjoyment | Unable to truly embrace life, troubled by inner restlessness | Without peace, devoid of resolve – struggling with own heavy burden of problems | Must hide the emotional sensitivity | General well-being and balance disrupted by a gruelling test of nerves.
The Overview
My behaviour is characterised by a need for power and unwillingness to dance to another’s tune. I’d rather speak my own truth, demanding attention. My ability to dominate brings much self-satisfaction, particularly when I can easily exert my control.